You know you don't have a drinking problem when.....

Something completely unlikely has happened....I have a bar, "a place," a watering hole where the owner and the 3 employees know me by name.  This is coming from a girl who had never had a drop of alcohol until October 2010, and who still doesn't drink most weekends.  The only place I feel really comfortable with a cocktail is at my bar, La Tarasca.

January 2011

It all started on New Year's Eve this past January.  Lynn and I went with her co-worker to La Tarasca and had the best mojitos we've ever had in our entire lives.  Granted, it was the first mojito I had ever had, but I digress.  The bartender was a crazy mexicano from Guadalajara who had the best barside manner.  Every time someone came to visit me on vacation, I brought them to La Tarasca.  Every time Lynn and I had nothing to do, we went to La Tarasca. 

June 2011

In March/April, the crazy mexicano left the bar, and a new bartender came.  At first, Lynn and I were weary of his mojito skills, but we quickly realized he was an amazing guy.  After 7 or 8 months, I can now say that we're friends! He walks me home or to the meto on the nights when I'm by myself, came out dancing with me and my coworkers a couple of months ago, and calls to check up on  me when I haven't come around in a while.  I have my seat in the bar, my routine, kisses all around when I come in at the beginning of the night....definitely VIP treatment.  The best part is that he knows I won't drink more than 2 heavy drinks in a night, so when the free drinks keep coming, he makes them non-alcoholic. 

November 2011

My friend just arrived yesterday from London to work as an auxiliar in the Ministerio de Educacion program.  He visited me in March and experienced La Tarasca with the old bartender.  Clearly, I have to bring him on Friday to experience La Tarasca as a VIP.  He's staying with me until he finds an apartment, so really, who are we kidding? He doesn't have a choice.

"Adolescence is just one big walking pimple" -Carol Burnett

Work is fantastic....with the exception of the homo sapiens between the ages of 12 and 18.
My 1°ESO, the equivalent of 7th grade in the States, have no concept of respect, responsibility, or the reason why they're in school.  (I'll give you a hint guys, it's EDUCATION...not SOCIALIZATION).  I think the reason they're so badly behaved comes down to two factors.

1. They are 11-14 years old.
2. They are Spanish.

Firstly, I started off with my ESO class on the wrong foot.  Their English teacher was aloof and made it clear that the middle school was totally not on board with this whole "auxiliares" idea. It was worded in the form of, "No one has told us anything. We thought you were coming in October.  We really don't know how to coordinate giving you half our class twice a week" because in Spanish schools no one is ever culpable.  Everything is always someone else's responsibility. 

It's also the first year they've had foreign English teachers in the middle school, which means the students have to pay an extra fee (that comes to less than 10 Euros a month).  My school is concertado, meaning the parents pay a small portion of fees (like in private schools) and the government pays another portion (like in public schools).  When some of the parents found out that the extra euros they paid in August/September were for BEDA, they pulled their kids out of my class so they could get a refund.  Of course, the four kids who pulled out are in "the clique" as I like to call it.  What a coincidence, right???  The teachers told me it could be for one of three reasons.
     
a) the family can't afford the program fee
b) they already pay for their child to go to an afterschool academia and don't want to pay even more
c) two parents gave their kid whatever they wanted and then word spread    


Those problems were like so last month.  Now we've moved on to behavioral problems (with the 23 kids that I have left).  From a cultural point of view, Spaniards can be much "ruder" than North Americans.  If you will, imagine how obnoxious your average 7th grader is....now multiply that by the cultural factor, and there you have it: they are culturally programed to be assholes.  There's one boy in my class who must be older than everyone else. (He's either already had his growth spurt or he's been left back a year.  I'm 90% sure that he's been left back.)  He sits in class like he's Kanye West at the Grammy's, with his Justin Beiber hair cut, and doodling graffiti in his notebook (which this past Monday I confiscated because it's not even a school notebook. It's purely for graffiti practice).  He answers every question I ask with attitude and disgust.  I think he is actually so disillusional that he thinks its okay to talk to other human beings, on top of that his TEACHERS, like they are idiots.  It's actually impressive how much hatred he can convey with just his eyes.  I've come to the conclusion that he hates me because I'm probably the only person that doesn't let him get away with his behaviour.  The other teachers have already coined him as a lost cause.  Don't get me wrong, I won't be championing this kid and trying to help him become a better person in life.  I'm just going to teach him how to respect people who are busting their ass for his sake. 

To think, I only have ESO twice a week for 55 minutes each, and this is the effect they have on me.

Today, one of the teachers went out to his car at lunch and someone had thrown 2 bricks through his back windshield.  He just bought the car in September.  It was a brand new black and white Puegot sports car...super chulo.  Everybody in the school knows that it's his car.  Even when the parents come in for tutoria they notice it outside and ask, "Is that really your car?"  Yes, it's possible that some random Alcorcon kids could've done it, but who are we kidding?  In all likelihood, it was one of our lovely delinquents. 

And this is why my boss parks her car 3 blocks away from the school. 

A, E, I, O, U

Today, my coordinator (the teacher I split my classes with) had to go to a meeting/conference in Madrid for English teachers in the BEDA program.  I was still able to split the classes for 1st-4th period because our prácticas student, Marta, is always with us in the mornings.  The kids weren't any worse than usual, but it probably didn't help that it was a Friday and we had 2°C and 2°D (the two craziest classes in primer ciclo).  The only thing I could think was, "Joder....I'm going to have all 27 kids in my 5th and 6th period, on a Friday afternoon, and they know the English teacher and the prácticas  teacher are both gone." 

My fifth period was with 2°A, the only class in primer ciclo with a tutora under the age of 40.  She is the sweetest woman!  Whenever a class isn't listening to me, my default move is to drop everything I'm doing and wait in silence with the stare.  Usually, one of the bossy know-it-alls will say, "Que os callais!!!!" but this time it was little Angel in the back row that said, "Que nos ha dicho Nuria??? Que hagamos caso a Niki!"  Apparently, the tutora told them before lunch that I was going to be coming alone and they had to behave for me.  It was so cute, I almost smiled...almost.  I had to keep up the tough guy facade.

At the end of the class, we were listening/singing the A,E,I,O,U song in the English book.  There were five students haciendo el tonto big time.  When the song finished, I called all five of their names and said, "Congratulations, you five get to come up front and sing the song alone because you weren't singing with the rest of the class!"  I put on the song and the three attention-craving class clowns were complete bobos once again.  The song finished.  I let the other two sit back down and said, "Again, we can stay here all day until you behave and sing the song properly." For the last time, I put on the song, and the three boys started singing.  It was so out of tune, off-beat, and generally horrible that all 27 kids started hysterically laughing.  I couldn't help it....I cracked.  It was actually funny.  I started singing with them and trying to cover up the fact that I was genuinely laughing, but I couldn't.  

Most days it's important to show your students discipline and sternness so they respect you and don't think you have no backbone.....today wasn't one of those days.  Sometimes it's important to just laugh and sing an A,E,I,O,U song about wild animals with the worst 3 kids in class.  We can't be humorless all the time, right?